myles henderson

cigars I have known and loved, 15 months in

Myles Henderson — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 07:36:44 +0000

It was 436 days ago that I stopped smoking cigarettes. I picked the day, December 22, 2006, two weeks in advance and quit cold turkey. Now I smoke one cigar per day, sometimes two if it’s a good day.

I was a compulsive cigarette smoker. I smoked when I woke up and before I went to bed and after a meal and before a meal and when I had to make a phone call and after sex and when I was walking to the car and in the car on the way to work and on the walk from the car to the office and once during sex and before I started a task and after I finished a task and whenever else I could squeeze in a couple of minutes to suck down a smoke. That’s all it took me to smoke a cigarette: two minutes. When I started smoking, around August of 1995, it took me eight minutes to smoke a cigarette. I still remember the rush of the nicotine; it was noticeable and pleasurable for the first couple of weeks. Then the rush stopped, and soon I was smoking a pack a day. Then two packs. Then I got it back under control to where I was only smoking about 25 cigarettes a day.

I figure that I’ve not smoked about 10900 cigarettes. I will count the possibly five packs that I’ve smoked socially since my retirement; let’s call it 10800 cigarettes that I would have smoked but have in fact not smoked since I am no longer a professional cigarette smoker. That’s a lot of cigarettes. My throat hurts just thinking about it. I used to switch brands when one brand would start to bother my throat too much and that was frequently since I smoked so damn many cigarettes. I went from Marlboro reds to Camels to Marlboro lights to Camel Lights and bouncing back and forth depending on how I felt when I woke up. I digress.

I was saying: I got off cigarettes 436 days ago. It was not my intention to become a regular cigar smoker. I wasn’t going to give up cigarettes and move right into cigars. But I did and my life is better because of it.

I’d been the occasional smoker of cigars for about as long as I had smoked cigarettes. My first exposure was with cheap machine rolled cigars from the corner store. I messed with those occasionally just as something different to do. During the cigar craze of the nineties, I had my father buy for me a premium type cigar while we were at a golf tournament. I tried to inhale most of it, spat a lot, and got rid of it about half way through. I didn’t try any more ‘good’ cigars until 2004. A friend of mine was given some cigars from his grandfather. I don’t recall the type but knowing the man who bought them they were certainly top quality. While my wife and his girlfriend where out shopping or whatever they did, we sat high up in a nice hotel watching the waves and the night lights of Hollywood, Florida and talking about whatever it is that we were talking about. After that I started messing around with some Punch and CAO smokes and whatever it was they were selling from the counter humidor at the liquor store. It was nothing serious and I wasn’t paying attention to what I was smoking.

My first great cigar was a Padron 1964 which was part of an anniversary gift. So much of that cigar is burned into my memory, from the ritual and smoke of it to the experience that went along with it, the view, the setting and the conversation. It was a fine cigar, and it made me realize that there was a lot to be enjoyed about cigars if I would only pay attention.

Fast forward a bit and I’m smoking maybe three or four cigars per month, stopping by the local cigar stores and smoking as a way to get to get in an hour or so of solid introspection or reading. I met a friend of my father who smoked cigars and I’d go over to his place on occasion and drink beer and talk about the sad state of the world over a cigar. All the while I’m still smoking cigarettes like a fiend.

Then I stopped smoking cigarettes. On my third day of being entirely smoke free, I got a package in the mail from a good friend of mine who apparently missed the memo that I had stopped smoking. It contained some top quality cigars. I was unsure about what to do. I tried to give them away but I could find no takers. I could not have thrown them away. So I did what any decent person would do and smoked the first cigar one week after I smoked my last cigarette.

I was afraid that smoking cigars would trigger an urge to smoke cigarettes, but it never did. The two experiences are far removed from each other and share very little in common except for the part about burning tobacco. My use of cigarettes was compulsive and obsessive and there was no joy in it. Cigar smoking brings real pleasure into my life, pleasure that I look forward to and can take advantage of on my own terms. I smoke a variety of cigars because there are so many good smokes to experience, not like I rotated my cigarettes to get a break from the irritants particular to one brand. I like the relaxed camaraderie of cigar smokers which is so much different than the hectic alliance of cigarette junkies around an ashtray. I made it 5 months completely cigarette free. I can have a cigarette now and know that I am in control.

The cigar smokers reading this know the comfort and the anticipation involved in selecting, cutting, and lighting a smoke. I don’t have to tell the cigar smokers about the pleasures filling so many of our senses while we smoke a cigar. Certainly, smoking a cigarette stimulates the same set of senses, but the both the good ritual and pleasure are absent from smoking a cigarette. Cigarette smoking had become a chore and a vice; I felt that I had to smoke cigarettes that I didn’t want to smoke. I have yet to smoke a cigar that I didn’t want to smoke.

My life is better because of cigars. Cigars give me a hobby and something to occupy enough time that I can concentrate on something besides work and family for all of my waking hours. I go to the cigar store and even before I walk in, I taste all the different flavors. I can find a cigar that perfectly complements a meal or enhances a particular time of day. I know the pleasant surprise of finding a cigar that I’ve forgotten about at the bottom of my humidor. I am sure that I have much to learn about cigars, and I am looking forward to getting to know many more friends and smokes as I gain that knowledge.

cross-posted at cigarzilla.net

PostgreSQL Insert Function Generator

Myles Henderson — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:28:23 +0000

I like the plpgsql procedural language for PostgreSQL more than it is appropriate to like a procedural language. I find the reward:effort ratio to be quite high. Since one can do so many cool things with it, why waste time writing boring insert functions for tables?

Here’s my plpgsql function which generates the create function statements for tables in a database.

download the function

The above code is a rolled back transaction which creates the generator function and then calls it so that one can view the results. By itself, it leaves no lasting impact on the database.

The insert generator accepts no input and returns a varchar. The string it returns can be executed against the database to create one function for each table in the database.

The newly created functions will accept as input all of the fields of the table and returns the primary key of the new record or 0 (zero) if no record was inserted.

The insert generator is limited to working with somewhat simple tables, as it is not aware of multiple column primary keys.

The resulting functions assume that they are being supplied clean input. You should do something to scrub your data before handing it off to the insert functions generated using this method. There’s a lot else that this doesn’t do, so you should use it at your own risk. I make no guarantees that it will work in your environment or that it is suitable for any particular use.

I will post a function which generates update functions in the coming days.

I have tested this code on against PostgreSQL versions 8.1.9 and 7.4.18.

Random Picture from Picasa

Myles Henderson — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 04:09:41 +0000

I have hacked together some PHP5 code to get a thumbnail of a random picture from Picasa Web Albums for a given userid.

The code can be much better.� Each time the page is requested two curl calls are made, one to fetch XML for the albums and one to fetch the XML of the pictures of the randomly selected album. But it does works and you get a random picture.

I can think of some ways to speed it up, but I am not sure how or even if I will implement this on the site in any way so I’m going to hold off on any optimization until it’s needed.

Many thanks to Philipp Lenssen for the post at Blogoscoped as he did the heavy lifting when it came to using an xpath query to get data from those Google XML feeds.

See it Work!
View Source

On the road to Blowing Rock, NC

Myles Henderson — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:18:12 +0000

It takes an increasingly long amount of time to get out of the house. Seven years ago we could shower, dress, eat and be out of the door in half an hour but now it takes that long for this family of four just to have breakfast. The trees here in Charlotte have been changing to their fall hues since August, but most of that is attributable to lack of water and not the actual coming of fall. But now as autumn is setting in the trees here have been at least beginning their planned change. There are spectacular shades of red, some golden yellow and too much brown. There is still much green at this elevation.

Saturday, November 3, 2007 finds this family in the car aiming south on Interstate 85 towards the US 321 northbound exit. We’re going to run north on US321 for eighty or so miles with a final destination of Blowing Rock, North Carolina to take in our first real fall as a family. Living in South Florida for so long left us longing for a real autumn. This autumn’s trip to Blowing Rock has been a topic of discussion in decreasingly abstract terms since the day after Christmas last year when we found ourselves taking in the incredible view at the Canyon restaurant and saying “This would be a hell of a place to see the leaves change. ”.

I see the northbound traffic on the interstate nearly at a standstill because of construction. There are scattered traffic comes on our side of the road and we’re watching for any sign of a real slowdown, armed with detailed maps of the area and ready to reroute ourselves around any potential delays. Last year, shortly after our first trip to Blowing Rock, we found ourselves on this same stretch of the interstate and made a total of 20 miles in three hours. I tell you it was miserable with the screaming infant, the complaining five year old and the helpful suggestions from my adult passengers. I’m just not going to go through that again.

Here we are making seventy miles an hour on 321 which is known as Chester Street in Gastonia when you first get on it from I-85. This is to be a two lane high scattered with a few stop lights and passing right through the heart of furniture country in North Carolina. We’ve opted to take this possibly slower but more direct route (I77 north to I40 west to US321 is the other option) to take in more of the scenery and get to know the towns along the way.

Still on 321 and entering historic (according to the sign) Lincoln county, it seems the leaves have changed more here. Some patches of trees seemed to be laid out to enhance the color in fall. We just passed a stretch where the shorter trees were a fiery red and the taller trees provided a bright yellow backdrop. I wish I knew what type of trees these were.

Passing the Lincoln County Industrial Park and cresting a hill we can see the first mountains in the distance.

Entering the city limits of Maiden we have a good laugh about the amputated leg sold at auction in a smoker. People are so funny. The man whose body the leg was once attached to gets to keep it but he has to pay the man who bought it at auction five grand. That makes sense. I’m glad I have both of my legs.

Now eight miles outside of Hickory, there’s a man using a snow shovel to remove ran-over-many-times pieces of deer from the highway. No one slowed down for the deer remover but everyone cut their speed in recognition of the cop in the Dodge Charger.

We’ve made 62 miles in the first hour. There are no stoplights between the towns of Gastonia and Hickory. US 321 is the main road through Hickory. The McDonald’s here has the nicest bathroom I’ve ever seen in a McDonald’s. Granite counters, nice faucets, and crown molding. It’s top notch for a room to piss in.

Granite Falls, NC was incorporated in1898 and has a population of 4703 according to the sign coming into town. The sign is the highlight of the town. The big furniture stores of the area see to have mostly missed Granite Falls. The car store here with the sign saying: “Buy American. Apple Pie, Hot Dogs, Baseball” is closed. Mom’s Country Kitchen is full. Hardee’s wants us to try the new Country Burrito. I’m holding out for a burger at the Canyon.

In Hudson, NC the Bojangle’s is the local hang out apparently. They’ve got free wifi.

The intersection of Hickory Boulevard (US 321) and Wilkesboro Boulevard is a the biggest intersection that I’ve seen so far. There’s a whole host of fast food restaurants. I can see the hills north of here and the hills are not the explosion of autumn colors that I had hoped to see. We just passed the United Meth Church Road.

The color gets better close to the hills. I think another two or three weeks would do a lot to increase the variety and intensity of color on the hills.

Today is a perfect day for this trip. The crisp blue of the sky exists in stark contrast to the warm colors of the leaves.

We did make it to Blowing Rock, NC and enjoyed ourselves.

Happy birthday, Audrey!

Charlotte Farmers Market

Myles Henderson — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 22:32:23 +0000

It is time to buy vegetables for the week and having spent six months in Charlotte without taking the time to make the drive, we decided to check out the Charlotte Farmers Market. The Charlotte Farmers Market is one of five farmers markets owned by the State of North Carlina. It is operated by the North Carolina Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.

The market is housed in a large steel building with ample ventilation of plenty of space for vendors. There were maybe 15 different vendors on the Thursday that we went. There were not a large number of customers there and it was easy to wander around the space without feeling crowded or rushed. I expect that the Charlotte Farmers Market attracts both a larger number of vendors and customers on the weekends.

Even though the number of vendors was somewhat limited, the selection of produce was excellent. We saw regular and heirloom tomatoes, potatoes, onions, apples, peaches, peppers, grapes, strawberries, squash, pumpkins, beans, asparagus, egg plant, various herbs, cantaloupes, watermelons, mushrooms, and many other items. There were also vendors selling canned jellies, chow chow, and honey. A stand was setup to sell fresh cut flowers. Another stand sold knitted blankets and accessories. A man was even selling his locally raised and cured bacon.

Most items were priced well below grocery store prices. The vendors compete with one another for business both on price and quality. It is common to see variations in price of ten to twenty percent on some common goods such as tomatoes.

The Charlotte Farmers Market is not the only Farmers Market in the area as I know of at least one more: The Matthews Community Farmers Market. I find that The Matthews Market has less produce available and generally has higher prices. Both are worth checking out, but the Charlotte Farmers Market is clearly a fine source for fresh economical produce.

the elvis

Myles Henderson — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:34:48 +0000

I give you the elvis:

Take one piece of sliced bread
Apply peanut butter
Cover with sliced banana
Cover with crispy bacon
Drizzle honey
Top with one piece of sliced bread

It has been said that the King himself invented this sandwich after regaining his appetite following a two-week benzedrine binge.

sudo

Myles Henderson — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 10:03:31 +0000

xkcd.com makes me laugh

Argiope aurantia

Myles Henderson — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:27:00 +0000

It was a dragon fly that caught my eye and brought me to the area; I was following him around trying to get a picture when I found the spiders. The dragon fly got away, and luckily the spiders aren’t as tricky to photograph.

I found three black-and-yellow argiopes. The things are apparently common in North and Central America, but this was my first encounter with one in 26 years.

Argiope aurantia on Animal Diversity Web

Picture 1: Looking at the top of the spider

Picture 2: They look particularly mean from the bottom

bee

Myles Henderson — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 03:14:30 +0000

I don’t get too close, but i hear that these bees won’t sting you.

#asp memes

Myles Henderson — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 01:37:48 +0000

#asp on undernet irc is a place in which you should hope that you never find yourself.

However if you do, this guide to #asp memes, will come in handy.